First Universal Church of mmme
Thursday, August 23, 2012
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Friday, December 9, 2005
i found it in my friend's iPod. i was laughing like stupid ^^
Friday, August 5, 2005
Saturday, August 7, 2004
You know you want to join.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
im sorry to any of you potential clay aiken fans out there, but he is the anti-orgasmia. only with the power of my legendary elbows can i hope to stop him.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
1:38PM - holy cow!
so i had this dream the other night. in it i had to do some sort of trials, but i dont remember what i got for it once i completed the trials/tasks. i remember thinking that most of them would be fairly easy for me to do, but i had to work at 5, have the trials done by 4, and it was already 3.
one of the trials was that i had to make a girl orgasm. i was as i was trying to work on this task, the guy who was watching over me and would eventually reward me kept interupting me to tell me that i still have 5 tasks to do by 3 o'clock. the girl was just some girl, no one that i know or anything. i wonder if the completing the tasks were to earn the title of Orgasmia? anyway, it was a strange dream. i thought it would be appropriate for the church.
also: how does the church feel about pubies? shaved? natural? landing strip? inquring minds want to know.
Monday, February 16, 2004
i think that we need to sell a product to raise funds for the church. i think we should do what other companies are doing and market sex toys as other items. like the "personal massagers" that i spoke of in my own journal. give the High Priestess other ideas you have. we can use part of the funds to make a proper church graduation corsett for Michelle. do it, i command it.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
The overbearing work load of High Priest gives little time for the pleasures most enjoy in the church. It is therefore with the greatest pleasure and honor that I hereby bestow upon High Priestess Orgasmia the new title of Misstress of the Dungeon of Lust.
You will now all bow to her and lick her toes in submission while chanting “Thank you Ma’am may I have another”.
May the most holy and righteous orgasm be visited upon each of you. Amen.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
9:08PM - When you talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks to you, it's called Paranoid Schizophrenia.
I leave for a few months and look what happens! This community is far too subdued--especially considering it's pretty much a masturbation cult.
So, how's everyone's love life?
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
If you think I will give up my God status for Christmas, you're wrong. Very wrong.
During this time you may be tempted to be good but I advise you not to. Pray twice as much to resist all good, for it's evil.
There's a reward for the worthy and a punishment for the unworthy.
Your God has spoken.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
I'm going to be doing holiday cards over the next couple days. Let me know if you want one. 8====D
oops: I meant =D
Monday, November 24, 2003
were you all aware that our High Priest gives BJ's like some kind of lowly servant? shouldnt the High Priest be on the receiving end of all of that?
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
there hasnt been much activity in the church lately, i hope that this is because all of you have been saying your daily prayers and all those other things church members are supposed to do.
now then, Orgasmia smiles upon you. those of you who have been good shall be rewarded with your own midget to serve you sex in the night. and these are special midgets with Orgasmic powers that i have given them. no need to thank me, just be sure to scream our lords name in the time of ecstacy and to clean the mess up afterwards. ;)
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Had a conversation with Lars tonight. She was using High Priestess Orgasmia's computer:
PlagosusTemplr: it's a high priest thing
PlagosusTemplr: comes along with the prayer duties
EveNatari: and these duties are
PlagosusTemplr: are synonymous with "well, I'm off for a good wank"
PlagosusTemplr: it makes prayer meetings sooooooo much more fun
EveNatari: definitely more intense
PlagosusTemplr: and being a branch of the church of sexology has a much more interesting marriage ceremony too
EveNatari: o really
PlagosusTemplr: (my favorite part is when the bride and groom consumate the marriage)
PlagosusTemplr: "you may now fuck the bride"
EveNatari: hahahah o love you man
PlagosusTemplr: i'm trying to get church law pushed through to allow High Priest and Priestess rights of First Night
PlagosusTemplr: Prima Nocta >)
So, what does everyone have to say; shall we allow High Priest and Priestess Prima Nocta?
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Tuesday, September 2, 2003
7:53PM - HAHAHA
You're the Lustuous God-- Is all you think about
sex?? You perve! Those raging hormones control
you. You love the whips, chains, and other
bondage devices. Kinky lil devil. You love to
experiment with new things when it comes to
sex, and there really isn't a limit to what
you'll do. You'd go at it with anyone anywhere
most likely, and you'd probably go for a three-
some if you were asked. People tend to look at
you as a slut/whore, but you don't care, you
have fun. Be cautious when you want to start a
real relationship. Your partner may only want
whats advertised in your reputation.
What God Are You? (Males)
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
I was trying to explain how out church works and how purgatory works and all of that good stuff to a friend of mine and he asked if there was a study sheet. i dont know about you guys, but i think its a damn fine idea.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
11:12AM - Happy New Year
With today being New Years Day of the 21st year of the FUCmmme calendar. I would like to offer up a HAPPY BIRTHDAY message to Almighty Tommy.
Church services will begin at midnight tonight at the bar nearest you.
Please don't forget to tithe the church. All proceeds go toward the Tommy Revisitation Fund. A very worthy cause.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
When greeting the Almighty Tommy ---
PlagosusTemplr: in the name of the father, the sun (yes, sun, not son) and the holy spirits
PlagosusTemplr: *splashes some gin on you*
PlagosusTemplr: i declare thee worthy of entering the presence of the Almighty Tommy
PlagosusTemplr: you may now kiss him in greeting
EveNatari: *rips open dress to reveal gin soaked corset with chest heaving*
EveNatari: ha ha ha ha ha h
PlagosusTemplr: we have still yet to decide WHERE to kiss him
PlagosusTemplr: you're wonderful
PlagosusTemplr: "Holy Spirits" (patent pending): the salvation for your soul"
dis mmm: *is highly amused*
dis mmm: so this is the ceremony
dis mmm: now post it on fucmmme
And thus it shall be!
11:22PM - OMG!111!!!!
I am please to announce I am pregnant with Tomek's Polish-Jewish, half-breed love child.
And that's not all!
Because Tomek is a god and only desires frequent sexual liaisons with his hand (a.k.a wanking), it was an immaculate conception and everything!
This is very exciting news and Tomek wanted me to post about it immediately. We hope you are all as overjoyed as we are.
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